They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
