Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
