Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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