Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
