i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we should paint friendship bongs
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
