Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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