Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
