I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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