Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
