Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
