No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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