fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
