im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
