So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
