I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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