i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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