I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize