i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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