No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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