dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
