so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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