I'm so fucking centered right now
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
either way he was missing a nipple.
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The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.