So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"