I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
