I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
In America we eat man semen.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
