it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize