ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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