am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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