hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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