if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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