I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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