yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
