just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
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