and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
