alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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