Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
