I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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