I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
