My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
