My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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