You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
