Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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