HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
