my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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