I think im going to throw up on grandma
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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