Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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