so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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