ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
