sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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