Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
