Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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