Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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