I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
