Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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