And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
