I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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