How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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