Small penises have feelings too.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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