she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
