Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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