we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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