i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
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I need you to use more vowels.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize
