would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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