I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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