There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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